I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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