god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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