the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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