And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Randomize
