I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
