theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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