Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
