Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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