If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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