My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
