are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
