I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He did a backflip because drugs
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