Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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