She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
