And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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