my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
