All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
