why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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