i think my tv is drunk
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
