Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
