I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
