its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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