I want to stick my p in your. b.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
