There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
