so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
