i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
