I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just high enough for therapy.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
