the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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