That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
