He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
