I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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