You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize