we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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