I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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