You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
