So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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