Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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