you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
