i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
