Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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