spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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