just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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