I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
