Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I have fence marks all over my body
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
