So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
