Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
