Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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