was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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