dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
