If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
