sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
