Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I think your dad took our porno
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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