Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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