Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
