Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
